LIFE IS PANDEMONIUM.

Ugh.
Ignore, if you can, the blatant insanity of my earlier post. I am, dare I say it, starved for human attention at this point, leaving me with nothing but my iPod and a laptop just daring me to type up whacky Excel files for all the world to witness.
It has been a rather harrowing few weeks.
Would that someone, anyone, come to my rescue. But, alas.
Freaking poetic tone.

THIS IS NOT PATHETIC, RIGHT?

I found some illegitimate joke of a survey demanding to know the extent of my musical knowledge. Needless to say, I kicked its sorry quizzical ass into the gutter, and comprised my own, relatively comprehensive, list of all the musicals I happen to know.

Yes. This is how I spend my Friday afternoons.
Deal.

1776
70, Girls, 70
110 In The Shade
42nd Street
A Chorus Line
A Class Act
A Day In Hollywood/A Night In The Ukraine
A Doll's Life
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum
A Grand Night For Singing
A Hand Is On The Gate
A Joyful Noise
A Little Night Music
A New Brain
A Year With Frog And Toad
A, My Name Is Alice
Aida
Ain't Misbehavin'
Ain't Supposed To Die A Natural Death
All American
All Shook Up
Allegro
Altar Boyz
Amen Corner
Amour
Angel
Angel In The Wings
Anna Karenina
Annie Get Your Gun
Anything Goes
Applause
Aspects Of Love
Assassins
Avenue Q
Baby
Ballroom
Bajour
Baker Street
Bare
Barnum
Bat Boy
Beauty And The Beast
Bells Are Ringing
Big
Big Deal
Big River
Black And Blue
Blast
Blood Brothers
Blues In The Night
Bombay Dreams
Bounce
Boys From Syracuse
Brigadoon
Bring Back Birdie
Bring In 'Da Noise/Bring In 'Da Funk
Brooklyn
Bubbling Brown Sugar
Buddy
By Jeeves
Bye, Bye Birdie
Cabaret
Camelot
Can-Can
Candide
Canterbury Tales
Carnival
Carnival In Flanders
Caroline, Or Change
Carousel
Carrie
Catch A Star
Cats
Chess
Chicago
Children Of Eden
Chita Rivera: The Dancer's Life
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Chronicle Of A Death Foretold
Cinderella
City Of Angels
Coco
Comin' Uptown
Company
Contact
Copacabana
Cradle Will Rock
Crazy For You
Cry For Us All
Cyrano
Dames At Sea
Damn Yankees
Dance Of The Vampires
Dancin'
Darling Of The Day
Das Barbecu
Dear World
Destry Rides Again
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Do Re Mi
Do I Hear A Waltz?
Doctor Jazz
Don't Bother Me, I Can't Cope
Doonesbury
Dracula
Dreamgirls
Eating Raoul
Elegies
Enter The Guardsmen
Eubie
Evening Primrose
Evita
Falsettoland
Fame
Fanny
Fiddler On The Roof
Finian's Rainbow
Fiorello!
Five Guys Named Moe
Flora And The Red Menace
Flower Drum Song
Follies
Footloose
Forever Plaid
Forever Tango
Fosse
Foxy
From The Second City
Funny Girl
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
George M!
Georgy
Gigi
Godspell
Golden Boy
Goldilocks
Good Vibrations
Goodtime Charley
Grand Hotel
Grease
Grind
Guys And Dolls
Gypsy
Hair
Hairspray
Half A Sixpence
Hallelujah, Baby!
Happy End
Hazel Flagg
Hedwig And The Angry Inch
Hello, Dolly
Henry, Sweet Henry
High Society
High Spirits
Honk!
Hot Feet
How Now, Dow Jones
How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying
I Can Get It For You Wholesale
I Do! I Do!
I Had A Ball
I Love My Wife
I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change
I Remember Mama
Illya, Darling
In My Life
Inner City
Into The Woods
Irene
Irma La Douce
It Ain't Nothin' But The Blues
Jamaica
James Joyce's The Dead
Jane Eyre
Jekyll And Hyde
Jelly's Last Jam
Jerome Kern Goes to Hollywood
Jerome Robbins' Broadway
Jerry Springer: The Opera
Jerry's Girls
Jersey Boys
Jesus Christ Superstar
Jon And Jen
Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
Juan Darien
Kean
King Of Hearts
Kismet
Kiss Me, Kate
Kiss Of The Spiderwoman
La Boheme
La Cage Aux Folles
La Plume De Ma Tante
Leader Of The Pack
Legs Diamond
Lennon
Les Miserables
Lestat
Let Em' Eat Cake
Little Me
Little Women
Loot
Loreli
Lost In The Stars
Love Life
Lovely Ladies, Kind Gentleman
Lucky Stiff
Mack and Mabel
Maggie Flynn
Mama Mia
Mame
Man Of La Mancha
March Of The Falsettos
Marie Christine
Marlene
Marlowe
Martin Guerre
Mary Poppins
Me And Juliet
Me And My Girl
Meet Me In St. Louis
Merlin
Merrily We Roll Along
Milk And Honey
Miss Saigon
Moby Dick
Monty Python's Spamalot
Movin' Out
Mr. President
My Fair Lady
My Favorite Year
My Old Friends
My One And Only
Naked Boys Singing
Never Gonna Dance
New Girl In Town
News
Nick And Nora
Nine
No Strings
No, No, Nanette
Nunsense
Nunsense 2: The Sequel
Of Thee I Sing
Oh, Captain!
Oh, Coward!
Oh, Kay!
Oh, What A Lovely War
Oklahoma!
Oliver!
On A Clear Day You Can See Forever
On The Town
On The Twentieth Century
On Your Toes
Once On This Island
Once Upon A Mattress
Over Here!
Pacific Overtures
Pal Joey
Parade
Passion
Peter Pan
Phantom
Phoenix '55
Pickwick
Pipe Dream
Pippin
Platinum
Play On
Porgy And Bess
Promises, Promises
Pump Boys and Dinettes
Purlie
Quilters
Ragtime
Rags
Raisin
Redhead
Reefer Madness
RENT
Ring Of Fire
Riverdance
Romance/Romance
Rumple
Runaways
Ruthless
Sail Away
Sarafina!
Sarava
Saturday Night
Saturday Night Fever
Scrooge
Seesaw
Seussical The Musical
Seven Brides For Seven Brothers
She Loves Me
Shelter
Shenandoah
Shogun: The Musical
Show Girl
Showboat
Side By Side By Sondheim
Sideshow
Singin' In The Rain
Skyscraper
Smile
Smokey Joe's Cafe
Snoopy
Song And Dance
Songs For A New World
Sophisticated Ladies
South Pacific
Souvenir
Starlight Express
Starmites
State Fair
Steel Pier
Stomp
Stop The World- I Want To Get Off
Subways Are For Sleeping
Sugar
Sugar Babies
Sunday In The Park With George
Sunset Boulevard
Superman
Swan Lake
Sweeney Todd
Sweet Charity
Sweet Smell Of Success
Swing
Swinging On A Star
Taboo
Take Me Along
Tango Argentino
Tarzan
Teddy And Alice
Tenderloin
The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
The Act
The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer
The Apple Tree
The Best Little Whorehouse Goes Public
The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas
The Boy Friend
The Boy From Oz
The Civil War
The Color Purple
The Drowsy Chaperone
The Fantasticks
The Fig Leaves Are Falling
The Frogs
The Full Monty
The Gay Life
The Gift
The Girl Who Came To Supper
The Goodbye Girl
The Grand Music Hall Of Israel
The Grand Tour
The Great American Trailer Park Musical
The Happy Time
The High Rollers Social And Pleasure Club
The King And I
The Last Five Years
The Lieutenant
The Light In The Piazza
The Lion King
The Me Nobody Knows
The Merry Widow
The Mikado
The Most Happy Fella
The Music Man
The Mystery Of Edwin Drood
The Night That Made America Famous
The Pajama Game
The Phantom Of The Opera
The Pirates Of Penzance
The Producers
The Rink
The Roar Of The Greasepaint - The Smell Of The Crowd
The Robber Bridegroom
The Rocky Horror Show
The Rothschilds
The Scarlet Pimpernel
The Secret Garden
The Sound Of Music
The Tap Dance Kid
The Threepenny Opera
The Unsinkable Molly Brown
The Vamp
The Wedding Singer
The Who's Tommy
The Wild Party
The Wild Party
The Will Rogers Follies
The Witches Of Eastwick
The Wiz
The Wizard Of Oz
The Woman In White
They're Playing Our Song
Thoroughly Modern Millie
Thou Shalt Not
Tick, Tick...BOOM!
Timbuktu!
Tintypes
Titanic
Top Banana
Tovarich
Triumph Of Love
Two Gentlemen Of Verona
Two If By Sea
Uptown…It's Hot!
Urban Cowboy
Urinetown
Very Good Eddie
Victor/Victoria
Walking Happy
West Side Story
What Makes Sammy Run
Where's Charley?
Whistle Down The Wind
Whoop-Up
Wicked
Wish You Were Here
Woman Of The Year
Wonderful Town
Working
You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown
Your Arm's Too Short To Box With God
Zanna, Don't!
Ziegfeld Follies
Zorba

[Editor's Note: This is not the end-all or be-all of lists. I'm adding to it as the day continues, as a matter of fact. If you want to find some sort of realistic and comprehensive listing of musicals, take a gander at Musicals 101. They have, by far, one of the most thorough and complete lists of shows in the musical theatre realm, and far beyond that of the Internet Broadway Database, if not merely for the fact that 101 caters to international theatre.]

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE RAMPANT POSTING.

If I can manage one blog, why not a second?

Actually, it seems reasonable for me to double-post my entries whenever I have the opportunity, so, hopefully they will begin to show up both at the LiveJournal account and, as always, here at my best friend, Blogger.

It's summer.
I'm bored.
Give me a break.

GROUNDHOG DAY.

After a day in absolute pain and dissolution, I sat down this evening to watch "Groundhog Day" for the first time in years. I have to acknowledge Andrea, as she was completely and infinitely correct: it's one of Bill Murray's greatest performances, not to mention one of my favorite movies. In the realm of redemption, it's one of the few plots essentially conveyed with enough taste and enthusiasm to leave me with a resolute feeling of possibility and hopeless romanticism. In this very instant, I'm convinced that I'll wake up tomorrow facing the same issues I dealt with already, plotting merely to tie up all loose ends before the clock strikes six in the morning.
Ridiculous? Yes.
But, honestly, how wonderful is the thought that life is set before us with no determining factors except for the underlying hope that we will bring definitive good to those around us, and will work for the betterment of their lives in order for ours, ultimately, to succeed. I want to fight unceasingly for those surrounding me, not because of what they will provide me with if I do so, but entirely for their own good, and the mere fact that taking care of others is, essentially, the only "right" thing to do.
There is a legitimate surge within me to take action and do for others what I might otherwise deem as an unfortunate waste of my time. How odd that these thoughts are evoked via the medium of film, and one with a helm of downright absurdity at that! Genuinely, I am left with this cynically-diminished grin on my face, with tailored thoughts of exactly how my "infinite day" would be spent. How silly.
How wonderfully, wonderfully silly.

HOME, HOME ON THE PORCH.

I slept for fourteen hours last night. I got in around seven, and I was just out.
Needless to say, it had been an interesting day spending time with just my father at Epcot. We had an agreeable time, and I enjoy his company, but he is most definitely capable of pissing me off and wearing me to the core.
Other than that, life was lovely.
I am at a point where I can literally do nothing but wait. The pospect of Starbucks seems rather ripe for the taking, and might prove fruitful if this manager decides to call back yet again, but this time, whispering those sweet, sweet words, "you're hired."
Ugh. It's still early in the morning. I should be sleeping.
I've had enough sleep to subdue a cat. I think I am officially awake.

TIRED OF IT.

I'm getting sick.
Not physically, although aliments could be discussed in either sense.
I'm sick of being walked all over.
I'm tired of putting out all the effort humanly possible in relationships, only to have them smack me around and force me to doubt that which is good within me.
I'm sick of having my pride dangled in front of my face without the promise of any sort of compensation.
I've finally found another human being who seems to care unconditionally and give out what they've promised, and every other relationship pales in comparison to it. For some reason, Michael has forced me to realize that I deserve so much more than I've ever let myself take from other people. I may be demanding and bossy, but that doesn't mean that what I have to offer counts for anything less than it should.
I refuse to continue to be hurt by people who mean more to me than I seem to mean to them. It has to stop. I deserve so much more than that, and it's taken me a year of growth to really, genuinely realize that.
I refuse to be walked upon any longer.

HELLO, CITY.

It's so difficult to juggle turmoil and pain from twelve-hundred miles away.

I'm finally in an up-swing.
I can only wish the same for others.

I miss you and love you infinitely.
And although you already know that (and won't be reading it here, for that matter), I just needed to say it again.

SNL SKITS FROM JESUS.

"PRESIDENTIAL OUTTAKES"


"IF AL GORE WAS PRESIDENT"


Perhaps they didn't come directly from Jesus, but they might as well have.
Thank you SNL, and even bigger thanks to Daily Motion.

CENSUS, SCHMENSUS.

I'm on a rather insane quest for genealogy material for my grandmother, seeking to construct the missing pieces of her rather vast family tree. Despite the fact that I am killing myself over not being able to find the exact records that she needs, I have to stop and wonder if some day, my own genetic line will seek my family history out, and wonder just why it is they're all drunken, bi-polar, depressed, divorced nut-cases (so to speak) who aren't even punny.

Because that is my extended family at large.

Good times.

NOT SO STUCK IN A MOMENT I CAN'T GET OUT OF.

Finally got a call back from The Bucks of Star. The prospect of actual, legitimate work that will take up my time is beyond exciting. Exhilarating, even. I can't find the words to express the feeling of legitimate solace that overwhelms me when I think of productivity and my pursuit of such. I am so very ready to work, to do things that will legitimize my time here.

I have to essentially shift my train of thought because I've just finished watching the Conan O'Brien repeat episode with U2 as the guest stars, encompassing the entire show. Genuinely, the closing number at the end of that particular show is probably my favorite television moment ever. Hearing a very cut-and-dry acoustic version of "Stuck in a Moment (You Can't Get Out Of)" has to be the most amazing thing ever. I love it. It is, without question, one of my most revered songs, and I basically want to jump The Edge whenever I see this episode and hear that song.

And...It's sleep time.

EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT.

If you haven't found some way to get involved with The 1 Second Film, do so immediately.

Before I kick you.

Not kidding.

[Editor's Note: I'm an Associate Producer, which means practically nothing, but it's $1.00 towards an awesome cause, and I can submit my name for credit on IMDB. How freaking awesome is that? Pretty freaking awesome.]

I WANT TO BREAK FREE.

I am having an entirely awful day today.
Why?
Don't ask me- I have no idea why.
Well, there I go lying: I know exactly why I'm feeling the way I am, but everything I've ever known tells me to suck it up and stop being wussy.
I don't think I've used the word "wussy" in quite some time. I'll get on that.

I feel so disgustingly stagnant. I sit, waiting for applications to process, waiting for things to happen that I have absolutely no control over. And until things start moving, I am stuck in a place where I have no one, where I feel as though I know nothing, and where there is so little for me to do that is in any way productive.
I understand the way Michael feels in PA, but at least he has the opportunity to bury himself in work. Right now, I don't have that. The second I do, it will be absolutely all I care about. Until that moment, however, I am increasingly depressed.

I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to be with anyone- not anyone here, at least. I feel as though I'm trapped in a place without a single person I genuinely trust, and that is driving me insane. I'm sleeping on a porch. Two people I love dearly are over a thousand miles away. Others are close to two hundred miles from me, a distance which my family seems bent on prohibiting me from traveling. I am immersed with "family time," and it has taken that to allow me to realize just how much I need to get away from this place. I have grown up so dramatically in the last year that it pains me to be back in a place that forces me to be twelve again. I have no friends or activities that allow me to escape, only a family with the intention of keeping me as close to them as humanly possible.

I cannot take it much longer.
I need something, anything that is going to make this less painful.
I can't sleep.
I have to get out of here. Now.

I HAVE A DREAMSICLE.

I'm on a Colbert posting-frenzy. Deal with it.
Better yet, enjoy.
Thanks a million, You Tube.

"TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT COMMANDMENTS."

Okay.
This is amazing.



Mad props to You Tube.

PAUSING.

In total honesty, the act of summoning up all the buying power in my life seems a bit more destructive than productive at the moment. I feel compelled to postpone the rather intense "buying spree," and just to focus on that which I do have. Which is, at the moment, not too much.
Oh, well.

WHY I LOVE STEPHEN COLBERT:

Because he even makes a hot 80's rocker.

He should be singing to "Kelley," but I'll get over it.

DAY TWO: $2000.00

1. Sweeney Todd 2005 Broadway Revival Cast Recording. [$25.00, ordered off of the production's website.]

After seeing this on Broadway a few weeks ago, I have no stronger desire than to be able to listen to it over and over again, something one might have expected me to already have done. However, money being what it is (non-existent), I am forced to wait temporarily.

2. 60GB Black iPod. [$399.00 from The Apple Store.]

Gluttonous as some may find it, I don't have enough space to store my musical library on the 20GB U2 Special Edition iPod I currently own. It's running on two years old, and now, it has begun to freeze occasionally, something which can prove devastating when I use it on the road.

3. Team Zissou Baseball shirt. [$17.99, finely crafted by the good people at ThreadPit.]

I haven't bought an amazing t-shirt like this one in quite some time. And along that same vein, I still need to purchase the film it so quip-i-ly takes after, but have not been monetarially able at this point. Perhaps tomorrow?

4. Motorola PEBL U6 Orange Phone. [$399.99, available for pre-order at Simon Cells.]

Ever since I set eyes on the PEBL, I've desperately desired it as a cellular companion. They're just so damn sleek and cuddly! Like a koala! Except with a camera, voice-activated dialing, and buttons. Koalas don't tend to have buttons.

5. Bragada Twin size Memory Foam mattress. [$392.43, via the Bragada site online.]

At the ripe old age of nineteen, my back has already been giving me trouble for years now. I continually find myself in pain even after a good night's sleep, and a really amazing mattress would be a first for me.

6. One ticket to the 2006 Tony Awards Ceremony on June 11th at Radio City Music Hall. [$550.00, found through any of the millions of online ticket brokers via Google.]

Tony Awards Ceremony = The Stuff Kelley's Dreams Are Made Of. In all actuality, though, that is one of those cool things I would absolutely never get the chance to see without optimal funding to do so. I would love more than anything to do so, and beyond that, I'm dying to find out if they announce a host for the show along with the nominees tomorrow morning. It's not Oprah, it's not Jackman, and, much to my dismay, it probably won't be Lane either. But, I can dream, can I not?

7. Donation to Kid's House of Seminole. [$215.59, made through the Kid's House of Seminole website.]

As a member of last year's Drama IV Class at Lyman High School, we adopted A Kid's House as our end-of-the-year charity to donate to. Our show ended up as a total incorporation of child-abuse awareness, and I continually wish we could have done even more to help and assist.

DAY TWO- TOTAL SPENT: $2000.00

THIS IS NOT FUN.

I sit, almost positive that I will be screwed out of federal aid for the next semester of school.
This is going to suck.
I might cry.
Not yet, but soon.

DAY ONE: $1000.00

1. Round-Trip flight to East Stroudsburg, PA. [$260.00, booked on Travelocity.]

What more can I say? I want to visit Michael again [Editor's Note: AND RACHEL. FORGET MICHAEL. I ONLY WANT TO VISIT RACHEL. BECAUSE SHE IS WAY HOT.] in late August before classes start up, and feasibly, I want to purchase the most affordable ticket available.

2. Plastic Fantastic Deluxe photography package. [$350.00, from the Lomographic Society International.]

Lomography is, according to Urban Dictionary, "a type of art photography in which color is emphasized. Traditionally, cameras such as the Holga, Lomo, Colorsplash, and Supersampler are used to create strange and unusual photographs. Lomographic photos are primarily characterized by vignettes (blurry and faded edges), random subjects, and nonadherance to traditional photography rules." I've been entirely fascinated with these cameras for as long as I can remember, and I desperately want to purchase at least one so that I can expand some of my picture-taking beyond the picture-phone realm.

3. Luxury Light Warmth Queen Size Down Comforter. [$250.00, purchased from Bed Bath & Beyond.]

With my handy, reliable down comforter at the ripe age of 30 years old (It went to college with my mother as well.) and feathers spitting out of several tears that I've hand-sewn, I would love an equally comfortable replacement.

4. Donation to Parners In Health. [$140.00, via the PIH website.]

I can't speak loudly enough for the work that this organization has done in terms of Haitian relief, not to mention their perpetual fight against TB. Plus, I sat through I-Robot with Paul Farmer. He bought me a chocolate milkshake. I figure I owe him a few dollars.

DAY ONE- TOTAL SPENT: $1000.00

IF I HAD A THOUSAND DOLLARS...

One of my personal favorites, Mr. Gene Monterastelli, has come up with a game I find rather interesting. It's the exploration of becoming comfortable with abundance and just what we, as individuals, find as our spending priorities. In an excerpt from a page on his website devoted to the game, he explains:

"Many of us are not comfortable with money and/or abundance.

We feel guilty because we have too much, because others have less than us.

We feel powerless because others have too much.

We feel like we can't have what we need for happiness because we don't have the money to get the education, experiences, or stuff to provide that happiness.

We feel like we are compared to others by how much we have.

We feel bad talking about it, but feel victimized when we aren't paid what we are worth."

"The idea is simple. Everyday you spend time pretending to spending money. Each day to start the exercise you make deposit into an imaginary checking account (filling out a bank ledger). Then you find what you want, you write checks for it, and you see what it feels like to have it.

The first day you spend $1000. On the second day you spend $1000 (for a total of $2000 on day 2). On the third day you spend $1000 more (for a total of $3000 on day 3). On the 365th day you spend $365,000, making the grand total almost $6.7 million dollars.

All of this is not to say that money and material possessions are the end all be all of existence or happiness. If we are not careful we can make them our God and have them control our lives. This does not mean it is bad. Money and stuff are just tools. If we have it we can do and help in ways we couldn't without it. [This paragraph was written because 1) I think it is an important point and 2) it is rooted in the desire to not come across as a money-grubber. Again, there is my fear of what others will think.]"

I find the idea one of such interest, I feel the desire to complete a similar exercise of my own, utilizing most of Mr. Monterastelli's rules/guidelines. His rules are as follows:

"The Rules
1) Each day I will spend $1000 more than the day before.
2) I can't buy the same thing twice.
3) I can't buy multiples of the same items unless it is reasonable to own more than one. (Ex: I can't buy 7 speed boats, but I could buy 6 chairs for my kitchen)
4) I must give away 10% each day.
5) I can give to an organization only once.
6) I must spend 95% of the money for the day, with the remanding money carrying over to the next day.
7) I must write a check for each purchase and write what the check is for on the memo line.
8) I will have fun."

Sounds interesting, right?
Right.