THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR WORTHWHILE THEATER IN NEW YORK, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR NEIL SIMON'S CAREER SUCCESS...

"Mary Tyler Moore, Neil Simon in Tiff Over Play
After reportedly receiving a note from playwright Neil Simon telling her to either [Editor's Note: This one had to sting...Wait for it, wait for it...NOW!] learn her lines "or get out of my play," Mary Tyler Moore has quit Simon's new play, Rose's Dilemma, walking out moments before Wednesday's matinee, published reports said today (Friday). Simon, who in his autobiography complained about the inability of several television and films stars to learn their lines quickly [Editor's Note: Well, duh.] , was reportedly upset that Moore was relying on a wireless headset in which her lines were being fed to her by an assistant. [Editor's Note: What, did her Mrs. Monroe get caught in traffic too? I'd like to see Mary Tyler "I'm 137 Years Old!" Moore fit into that little silver thing...] Mara Buxbaum, her publicist, said in a statement: "Mary has been working tirelessly for months but feels pushed out of this production. This is a very upsetting time for her." Simon had no comment. In 1980, Tony Curtis pulled out of his play I Ought to Be in Pictures, because, according to Simon, the actor was unable to cope with his frequent script alterations during the show's tryouts."

Thank you, Mr. Internet Movie DataBase!
Go Simon, it's your birthday. Go Simon, find a real actress...