ADDING AND DROPPING.

This first week back has been inundated with more activity than I had witnessed in the past two months. Beyond physical limitations, I feared for losing of myself this semester, and in that realm, I am making strides that require a strong look at who I am, the talent I seek to possess, and the surging understanding that, at some point in my coming days, I will be forced to make a decision as to how I can best serve all masters of myself- the desire to be business minded, yet performance-ready, and other various "trade-offs."

I will not recognize the word "sleep" until late April.

THIS IS HALLOWEEN.

Huh.

I'm currently in a Lakeland hotel room, enjoying a grande olde-timey rounde of "CSI:NY" (which is, earnestly, too many initials for me to follow without utilizing actual brain power).
Why is this compelling in any way, shape, or form?
I'm with Gibby.


You can take a few seconds to let that sink in.




Okay. And- we're good.

Could this evening get much more awkward? Maybe with booze.
Oh, wait- she refused to get a drink at dinner because she thought it might illustrate "bad decisions" in front of her "charge."
And then we almost died in traffic. And watched "Hairspray" for two dollars each.

There are very few linguistic phrases in the English language that truly lend themselves to describe this experience for me, and I still can't decide on one to use. Some include vulgarity, others irrational turns of phrase.
I just don't know.

She's asleep, now. And CSI has fifteen more minutes left. I'll just turn the volume down. After all, what if I don't stick around for what Gary Sinese has just spent forty-five minutes trying to decipher?! The evening will be lost.

I'll let you know what happens.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

I am finally proud of myself. Finally.
And here's what makes it worthwhile: the people I feel the most for could care less.

Tonight is just one of those nights, I guess.

WOYZECK IS QUEEN MARY.

If it wasn't for incessant Modern Drama research (because I love it) and Arrested Development on DVD (because I adore it), I would be leaning toward mental breakdown.

There is nothing that a hefty combination of Georg Büchner and George-Michael Bluth cannot cure.


I have so much more that I would love to verbalize, but little that could be made literate without incredible focus and determination. Neither of which I possess in any degree.

IT WAS A HIPP SUMMER.

I recognize that I have utilized that punny phrase before, but seeing as the whole process has finally come to an end, I thought I'd exploit it just one last time, and light up the page with some of the summer's finest photographic moments.
Enjoy.

WALK IT OUT, FOSSE.

This is the most amazing thing in the history of the dance/hip-hop universe.

Don't dispute me.

"I'M OBNOXIOUS AND DISLIKED; DID YOU KNOW THAT?"

Having just concluded an evening of 1776 with my grandmother, I am easily the happiest, most patriotic human being ever.
Not really. But, yes. Obviously.

Dear Gracious Lord on High, do I love that little show, that little piece of historical gluttony that brings my musical soul to a quirky quiver. I could babble for hours over its glory and dominance and simplistic finery and so on and so forth. And IMDB happens to mention some undisclosed project slated for 2009 that bears the same title of my most beloved musical, which could easily throw me into Crazy Hyperactive Medicinal Speech Mode. [Editor's Note: That's right, CHMSM. I don't have any feasible idea how one might pronounce or define that, nor do I give a flying (or grounded) care either way.] Regardless, the mystery that surrounds what I hope could be some perpetuation of greatness sends me into shock and an uncontrolled desire to...

...well, actually, I have no idea what it urges me to do. Buy a premium IMDB account?
No. Absolutely not.

Yeah, I've got nothing.

ONCE.

Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová made my evening.

Please, please go see this movie. Or buy the soundtrack. Or associate yourself with the film/its musicians in one way or another.

It was brilliant. Incredibly simple, and utterly gripping.

THE KIND OF NEWS THAT KEEPS ME IN MY DAY JOB.

(If only for the sheer knowledge that others are fighting the bigger and better battle in the artsy-fartsy war. Someday, I'll be able to jump right in. I have absolutely no doubts about that.)

I read this article through The Village Voice almost a month ago and found it supremely inspiring, if not for the sake of acknowledging what theatre can and will be in cultures that embrace it, but also with the sheer excitement that comes in seeing other individuals fight for new and innovative expression.
Suck it up, New York.

Obies
Meanwhile, in the Rest of the World...
The best international theater New York still needs to see
by Tom Sellar
May 22nd, 2007 3:23 PM

When avant-garde playwrights Gao Xingjian of China and Elfriede Jelinek of Austria won their Nobel Prizes for literature, in 2000 and 2004, the New York theater world responded with a big shrug. A shrug that endures: We've still yet to see a major production of Gao's time-bending salvation dramas (sometimes banned in China) or Jelinek's humorous language twisters. Jelinek has inspired controversy throughout Europe for her aggressive counterculture stances (her recent play Bambiland deals with the U.S. and Iraq). She has admirers and detractors, but New York has been left out of the debates.
The glaring absence of these playwrights' work shows how easy it can be to overlook international voices in this city. And though New York is slowly improving its attention to foreign work—due to some new, energetic producers—we continue to miss out on many of the world's theatrical riches.


(Photo taken from "Mnemopark")
Part of the problem: New York's larger, most prominent theaters rarely stage their own full productions of new writing in translation. In a time of global upheaval, where are the plays from the Middle East? The lyrical, abstract work of the young Iranian Amir Reza Koohestani, for instance, has been translated and presented at London's Royal Court Theatre. Africa and Latin America—couldn't mainstream theaters here include one play in their seasons? We're lucky to have the Signature Theatre, which devotes each season to a single American author. But imagine what additional voices we might discover if we had an equivalent major institution exploring a foreign dramatist every year. A smaller group, the Play Company, does cultivate new foreign plays; in 2005 it brought us Terrorism, a domestic tragicomedy by Oleg and Vladimir Presnyakov, a fraternal duo from Russia's Ural Mountain region. It was a useful introduction. But there's lots more Russian writing New York should witness—dramas about Putin and Chechnya from Moscow's Teatr.doc, and young writers with bleaker social visions like Vassily Sigarev, who explores social brutality, or Ivan Vyrypaev, whose stunning Oxygen and Genesis-2 combine techno beats with haunting existential parables.

Playwriting, though, is only one issue. These days, the most exciting advances have been coming from Europe's so-called "director's theater," where stage artists work on large-scale canvases, encouraged by generous state subsidies. New York has basements for foreign avant-garde plays, and audiences can catch visiting ensembles and smaller productions at venues like P.S.122 and 59E59. But encounters with great contemporary directors on a grand scale remain rare.

When large productions do travel, the most pioneering projects aren't necessarily selected. For instance, in recent seasons the Brooklyn Academy of Music has brought over Thomas Ostermeier's sleek productions of Nora and Hedda Gabler from Berlin's Schaubühne. Yet Germany's most exciting and progressive theater, the Volksbühne, sets a world agenda for the avant-garde, and we've seen nothing of it. Master directors like Frank Castorf, René Pollesch, Christoph Schlingensief, and Christoph Marthaler have combined performers' improvisations with new extremes for naturalist acting and theatricalist mise-en-scéne. Castorf's five-hour adaptation of The Idiot, for example, challenged an actor to improvise one speech for up to an hour, egged on by his fellow ensemble members. Castorf's stagings routinely incorporate lengthy mud and food fights, and the company once shelled a live cannon at the audience (no casualties). Schlingensief investigates late capitalism and contemporary politics, and his performance antics have involved live TV broadcasts and forming new political parties for audience members. These directors work and tour productions across Europe, where the next generation already imitates their aesthetics. This, if anything, is the Next Wave.

We've also missed an accompanying visual revolution, launched by European superstar stage designers like Bert Neumann and Anna Viebrock, who use Home Depot prefab materials, secondhand plastic furniture, and lots of neon lighting. Their sprawling environmental sets radically rethink theatrical space, and other designers have increasingly absorbed their principles (and copied the favela-chic look). Together these directors and designers have been expanding and evolving the art form, nourished by state subsidies and a theater system that prizes innovation.

Theatermakers whose creations don't fit into clear categories especially need to be seen here. Belgium's Alain Platel, with his phenomenal Ballets C de la B, has pushed dance theater into politically resonant metaphors. Hungary's Béla Pintér—a director-playwright with a knockout ensemble—stages hallucinatory, comic fables about nationalism, ethnicity, and country life, with exquisite original music and plenty of Hungarian folk dancing. The Swiss-German group Rimini Protokoll weaves a thick web of ironies out of political documentary, amateur participants' biographies, and fragments of plays such as Schiller's Wallenstein trilogy. Their current piece, Mnemopark, features elderly toy-train enthusiasts narrating a nostalgic journey through fake Alpine villages, as micro cameras on the toy trains provide hypnotic video feeds.

This is not to deny the vitality that's spread across New York. There's plenty of homegrown talent to celebrate, and some dazzling entrepreneurship makes it all possible. But why does a city that otherwise prides itself on resisting the nation's cultural phobias so often seem like a parochial theater town?

Internationally minded producers cite a long list of factors: These are tough times for challenging art of any kind. Raising money for unknown names and productions makes things harder. Flying and housing foreign artists (with sets and equipment) adds to the high costs of a big production. Obtaining visas has become a major difficulty and expense since 9/11. And even if a show can get here, New York has few spaces adequate for the grand scale of other nations' state theaters. Worst of all, producers fear that audiences (and press) unfamiliar with a foreign title, director, or ensemble will stay away. And now another problem looms on the horizon: Culture ministries of foreign governments, which help their American producing partners with funding and planning, face new rounds of budget-tightening.

Happily, some brave producers go undeterred. "Act French," last season's program of French productions and readings, brought Ariane Mnouchkine's emigration epic Le Dernier Caravansérail and introduced us to fresh dramatists like Koffi Kwahulé and Marie Ndiaye. At St. Ann's Warehouse, Susan Feldman has presented work by (among others) Grzegorz Jarzyna, the visually inventive young Polish director; she's pursuing his giant site-specific Macbeth for next year, at a roofless warehouse in DUMBO. New York Theatre Workshop is collaborating with Pollesch and Neumann to mount an American version of 24 Hours Are Not a Day, their witty and wild 2002 Volksbühne fantasia about globalization, 9/11, and postmodern identity. And Belgian director Ivo van Hove will return to NYTW this fall to create his version of Moliére's The Misanthrope.

Some of this past season's most thrilling foreign stuff got close, but not all the way to New York City. Jed Wheeler brought two ravishing productions by major visual directors to his Peak Performances series at Montclair State University: the Flemish master Jan Fabre's Je Suis Sang, a dance-theater bacchanal of violence and medieval bodies, and Romeo Castellucci's stark, painterly spectacle Tragedia Endogonidia (L.09). Both companies plan to return with other projects.

These are just a few of the world voices New York needs to hear more from, but no list is comprehensive. Drama always needs a steady supply of fresh ideas to propel it forward. Doubters need only think of the Moscow Art Theatre's 1922 tour, which introduced American audiences, artists, and critics to new acting forms. Had this legendary ensemble not visited, would anyone stateside have ever experienced Stanislavsky's visions in their fullest living dimensions—and assimilated what they saw? Foreign influences have altered the American theater's DNA at critical junctures. New York should make sure this is one of them.

THINGS I AM TOTALLY OKAY WITH ON THIS TONY-FILLED EVENING.

1. David Hyde Pierce. The unexpected, the unbelievable, and the much-deserved. Hooray.
2. Raul Esparza's performance of "Being Alive." Truly genius. Wonderful. And he hates David Hyde Pierce.
3. Julie White's defeat of Broadway's legendary ladies. She's funny, and under-appreciated up until this point. It was reasonable and lovable.
4. Grey Gardens as the thinking-man's musical. Enjoy your Spring Awakening, kids. I'll take Crazy Christine and her cats any day.
5. A chandelier falling and silencing out our two beloved ATW representatives, Sondra Gilman and Douglas B. Leeds. And, of course, John Mahoney definitely managed to utter "God-damn" on national television. I love him.

ANTIONETTE PERRY PARTY, YO.

Ooh. Tonight is my night of all nights- The 61st Annual Tony Awards, featuring munchies and theatre nerds.

My commentary will have to wait. Which, without question, will be a desperately sad thing for everyone who is named Kelley L. Smith. Namely, me.

I'm going to go bake cheesy bread things for the sheer sake of giddiness.
Go. View and be merry. At eight. On CBS.


Except for people who have no aspirations to awesomeness. They are lacking Broadway. Significantly.

SNORE.

Exhaustion, as close to descriptive as it may come, is still marginally less intimidating than what I was left with after this past week.

I am loving this job and the responsibilities that come along with it. All of them? Of course not. But I am without doubt that I am leaning on the side of "fulfilled."

Nap time.
How glorious it is to utter that phrase.

I FEEL LIKE THE GIRLS SHOUTING DOWNSTAIRS.

Groceries.
New haircut.
Dish-washing scrub-brush.
Giant bottle of water.
Spatula.
Reversible belt.

This day, dare I say it, was fun. Not conventionally fun, with balloons and merry-go-rounds and streamers. It was a mundane sort of fun, the type that draws reality into vision and makes apparent the simplicity of daily life. Perhaps I'm just getting old.
This week, defying my greatest expectations, has been feasibly, plausibly, wonderfully stupendous. Specifically, it was brought about by the individuals and interns surrounding me, the staff of the Hippodrome State Theatre, and, better than almost anything else, the underlying knowledge that I am in the process of making genial strides towards independence. Not monumental, mind you, but close enough to satisfy for this particular minute.

For the next day-and-a-half, I have minimal work to accomplish. And, better yet, sheer relaxation to pursue.
I'm aware of the fact that these things do not last for long, but I shall revel in them while I am able.

The two little girls that live below me are shouting and giggling, just out of the sheer joy of being. I want to be like that someday.

GAINESVILLE.

In.
Settled.
Typing atop a four-hundred-count-thread fitted sheet.
Oh, and a bed.

My living space is much larger than I would have expected, and though I've yet to spend any time speaking with my roommate, I am feeling as though things are going to work.

I really think so.

I should be reading (which I will do shortly), or sorting clothing into drawers (which may never happen), but I'm currently sitting, which still proves a much more solid alternative to things such as shark-fishing or dying.

I am marginally out of sorts. It appears to be no one's fault, but I daresay I am sitting on the brink of a tiny bit of fear, smidgen of mental breakdown, and a precocious ounce or two of indecision about what the summer holds for the next two months.

Things will be alright. I am well aware of this.
Hopefully, they will, in addition, be amazing.
I am striving for exceptions today.

I HAVE HIT BOOKS.

I cannot fathom a world with less sleep than this, and yet, I will have to, starting on Monday.

Sleep is certainly on the bottom of my "frightened to no end" list of Intern Expectations. I've read [almost] every text on improvisation that's revered in one circle or another.

Commercial for "Pirates": It was better than I thought is was going to be, with only a few gaping holes left taking on water. And Depp is still unfathomly not attractive. Talented, certainly; crazy, a bit; attractive, ugh.

I'm intentionally supressing the ginormous fear that Gainesville is going to prove me significantly incompetent and, furthermore, unavoidably unskilled, foolish, teetering on the brink of theatrical insanity [I typed that and I realized how redundant that was. So much for rhetorical expression...].
I should go back to reading. It seems I need all the text I can get.

SCOUR, SCOUR.

Sleeping is proving a rather difficult feat this evening.

Ha.

TWO-THIRTY.

I just placed a barely-significant eBay bid on a signed Original Cast Recording of my true and genuine loves, [title of show]. Earnestly, however, whether or not I win the monetary battle is of minuscule gravity to me; instead, the sheer magnitude of the fact that I placed the first bid on this item of grandeur sets my nerdiness aflutter.

Oh, my absent-minded musical theatre indulgence! How I have missed thee.

I hear a whole myriad of showtunes calling with a vengeance.
And this summer, they mean business.

GOAL FROM THIS POINT FORWARD:

-Accentuate my choices in diction.
-Endeavor to structure myself in a more enticing manner.
-Sentence colloquial grammar to its own metaphorical hell.

-Write the way I used to.
-Sound like a pretentious snot.
(Which is, lest I say it with glee, a manner more befitting my previous endeavors.)

When you got it, flaunt it.

THURSDAY, APRIL 17TH, 2007.

I forgot to put these up. Whoops.

Stage Makeup Final, Spring 2007.

IT'S BEEN A LONG WEEK.

Home for the summer.
It's only slightly disheartening, I assure you.
By May 28th, I'll be in Gainesville and starting work at the Hippodrome, which should be good fun and a plethora of experience, to say the very least.

For the moment, I'm going to continue to stop feeling sick, I'm going to cook good meals and enjoy the company of family, and that's pretty much all I can come up with.
Boring. I know.

Plenty has happened in the last few weeks, none of it that I honestly care to delve into at the moment. So, I won't.

The end.