HALLOWEEN.

I can't fathom what has actually come to pass in the past ten days. Not that anything of major significance has occurred, but I can't even gather the time to recount all that these last days have entailed. I've worked non-stop (and enjoyed the benefits of that work), surrounded myself with relatively good thoughts, and fought to enjoy myself as well as those around me.
I wasn't happy for a while, but I think I am right now.
Happy, that is.
Not exuberant, mind you, but happy. I'm enjoying the prospects of this week and work and interaction with the people I am growing to care more and more about. I'm glad to feel proud of myself now and again, to feel as though I'm earnestly producing and harvesting the things that I am responsible, but also the things that are bound to make me a better, fuller individual.

Cryptic.

Then again, what would Halloween be without intrigue or mystery?
A veiled piece of crap. Uh-huh.

AND...

I am the definition of emotional instability.

EMOTIONALLY GENERALISTIC ENTRY.

It's been many a time recently when I've stumbled upon the knowledge that I lack the words to convey adequately how I am feeling at one point in time or another. The truth of the matter, I'm finding, is not only that I lack descriptive entities for those emotions, but the understanding of what those diversions from rationality are actually, physically composed of. I have, in earnest, no idea what I am feeling, or how to realistically and objectively react to the world around me.

This, dare I sound obvious, is frustrating.

I possess passion and drive- this I know for certain. I also am blessed with the desire to want good and positive things for those around me. I fear that I've come to a point in my existence where I must let those two things intersect, and then, finally, diverge from one another, lest I watch my resolve chip away one bit at a time, leaving my own sense of pride and confidence unrecognizable to its proverbial friends and loved ones.

I have to take myself into consideration right now.
I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I really, truly hope that I can figure it out.

I need a good cry, a weekend of sleep, and the knowledge that I will come out of this with people who are willing to reciprocate my efforts.
Realistically speaking, at least two out of those three will do.
In my experience, number three is next to impossible.

TONIGHT.

I need a cat named "Murray."

And that's just the way it is.

SPECIAL.

I happen to be typing on the front steps of the auditorium.
Which, in my opinion, makes this post pretty damn special.
It's rather interesting how the day has progressed thus far. It has been tiring, as most days are, but I feel relatively secure in the scheme of things. Not in the mentality that life is solid and confidently accurate in my line of vision, but comfortable. I know that whatever is going on, whatever might be exploding around me, I'm oddly serene. Life will continue, people will progress, and so will the life I choose to lead.
I can take whatever is thrown at me, and, as I have said many times before, I welcome the opportunity to catch the metaphorical sphere of athleticism.

I'm glad that I still retain the ability to make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

UNTITLED POST.

ELEVEN.

You've grown accustomed to my face.
I wish it so.
Packing a suitcase that seems as temporary as it is finite.
I glance over, unaware and still presumptuous.
I wish it perpetually so, ritualistic as it is terrifying and wonderful.
Yours is the only face I shall ever let see me like this.
You will never cease to frighten me.
With so much more than I could ask of any other human beings.
I was serenely independent before we met.
Content is something merely to bargain with, for I had known nothing of this world.
Like breathing in and breathing out, in and out, out and in.
Your terse and cold glare that never ceases to soften every part of me.
The image that sits lumped in my throat, frightened of disappearing.
Never again may I be content with something less.
Accustomed, perhaps.
I pray it so.
For I've grown accustomed to yours, as well.