PLEASE?

I hate people. One person in particular.
I don't like her.
Mean.
Rude.
I can't stand her.
Please, please, make her go away. I don't care how its done, just make it happen.
Take her self absorbed grin off the planet. Please.

ENTRY #600.

Tonight marks the first performance for Indulgences in the Louisville Harem, so I would encourage all who can attend to take a peek sometime this weekend.
Ugh. So frantic, so nervous, and so ready to finish this show.
This is finally my opportunity to have fun with this production. I have to remember that, and take it to heart tonight.
Breathing is essential, but so is loving what I'm doing.
I love it. I will always love it. I know that.
Here's to us, Cast and Crew.

RECAPPING IS A JOY.

Oh, how life explodes in the course of mere days. I feel I've run the emotional gauntlet to its extremes, and beyond that, find myself generally overwhelmed.
Entirely overwhelmed, it might seem.
Exhausted beyond all belief.
Wrought with anxiety over the next two weeks.
Hopelessly devoted to someone I fall increasingly in love with as the days progress.
Unforgivingly conscious of the talented nature of the people around me.
Relatively distanced from any concept of sanity.
A veritable "Sleepless in St. Augustine," if you will.

I broke down in a horrific fit of sobbing this evening. I could easily associate it to an ingenious combination of whatever food and lack of sleep I've taken in recently, but the honest truth is that I have no idea what triggered it. Michael is certainly a confounding factor, but not the causation, I can assure myself. Ugh. I hate that he makes me so damn happy. Perhaps its a sign of insanity to despise that joyous feeling he wrangles out of me, but I think I fear more for its end than for its perseverance. I pray for its insistence. I love him, and it drives me crazy that I've fallen into something this deep and truthful in such a relatively short span of time. It fights against every logical thought in my head, yet I can do nothing to prevent the brutal assassination of such thoughts. Love, it seems, is certainly the more powerful weapon for the moment. And then, of course, comes the reality that he will be meeting my entire family in a mere span of two weeks.
Two weeks.
I don't think I can express how genuinely frightened that makes me. I mean, they will love and adore him, my father will blatantly torment him, but all will be well. I fear that he will despise me after meeting said family, but I think I genuinely have no capability to prevent such a thing. It will happen. What will be will be.
They'll get along fine. I just need to relax.
Sleep in my own bed, along with a cheeseburger and some juice should be just what the doctor ordered. I will be fine. I will survive. I will not break out into hysterical sobbing fits.
There's simply no need for it.
I just need to relax.
Breathe.
Relax.
Calm.
Ooh.
Ah.
...
(That's me breathing, dipwad.)

THIS WEEK.

It's only Wednesday, and yet, I feel as though I've already been running for several weeks non-stop. My energy and fervor will remain constant, even if my mentality begins to fall to the wayside. So, yeah.
Indulgences is now scheduled to preview on Wednesday, opening on Thursday, apparently, so I now have less than a week to pull myself together. Last night was a good evening for me, in the sense that I felt as though Florence became just a little bit more tangible. I feel as if I'm coming closer to a character, treading the fine line of believability. Now, all I can do is continue to work, and pray to some higher being for a massive injury and an understudy to become available.
Not really.
No.
Bad.

Schedule (As far as can be foreseen into the future):
Monday
12:00 PM- 1:50 PM > Acting Two
2:00 PM- 3:00 PM > Writing Center Staff
7:00 PM- ? > Indulgences Rehearsal
Tuesday
9:30 AM- 10:50 AM > English Composition Two Honors
11:00 AM- 12:15 PM > Tech One
2:00 PM- 3:15 PM > Business Math
7:00 PM- ? > Indulgences Rehearsal
Wednesday
12:00 PM- 1:50 PM > Acting Two
2:00 PM- 5:00 PM > Tech Shop Work
7:00 PM- ? > Indulgences Rehearsal
Thursday
9:30 AM- 10:50 AM > English Composition Two Honors
11:00 AM- 12:15 PM > Tech One
2:00 PM- 3:15 PM > Business Math
7:00 PM- ? > Indulgences Rehearsal
Friday
12:00 PM- 1:50 PM > Acting Two
7:00 PM- ? > Indulgences Rehearsal

Fun.
Crazy.
Freaking insane.
Yep. Pretty much.

LESS THAN THREE.

So, yeah.
I'm in love.
The end.

VOCALLY DISABLED.

Illness has swept over me, and I fear that unless I remain completely disjointed from the real world for the next few days, I may never again join it.
(Which is a gross overstatement, but bear with me. After all, I'm sick.)
I'm off to bed, which will hopefully allow for the facilitation of whatever it is I'm dealing with, snubbing it off the face of the earth and (more importantly) out of my system.
Ugh.

HOME, SWEET HOME.

Finally back at Flagler. Thank God.
Not much to mention that can feasibly be mentioned before I fall into a vicious cycle of sleep and classes, but that the hectic life is still one I desire and certainly own.
Michael and I remain strong, difficult as that may sometimes prove. I feel as though I genuinely care for him, yet the world finds ways to warp my opinions, or to reveal insights that frighten me away. I think I'm quickly falling deeper into something I still haven't fully prepared myself for: commitment.
I missed the people here so incredibly much. I am beyond excited to get the semester started, if not a bit frightened to leap into classes and such. We'll see...

REEFER MADNESS

Holy Mother of God, why did it take me so long to see this?
Easily, EASILY, one of the funniest musicals I've ever seen. Ever. EVER.

"There's only room for one Mary in my life. Mary Lane. With an "L." For Love. I love Mary Lane!"

SCHEDULE THUS FAR:

TODAY: Getting my hair "did," out to dinner, various Birthday crap.
TOMORROW: Orlando, for some good old-fashioned tearing up of whatever proverbial town I so choose. And so on.
THURSDAY: More town-tearing, not to mention a stop by the greyhound track, which might possibly lead to a giant hostile takeover of the high school. Think: massive attack on Frank Casillo. We'll see...
FRIDAY: Back up to St. Augustine, to revel in my lack of script comprehension, and to re-ignite a momentarily flickering relationship. Fun. And maybe a teeny, tiny little party. Tee hee.
SATURDAY: Same.
SUNDAY: Basically Saturday's gist, but with more action!
MONDAY: Yeah. Now it's just getting boring.
TUESDAY: REGISTRATION! AGH!
WEDNESDAY: Classes resume. Egad. Zooks. Poit.

Contact me if you decide to make changes to said plans. Which I may or may not be entirely okay with. Who knows? I'm 19. I'm crazy.

BIRTHDAY WISHES FROM MY PALS.

Oh, I love my Benny.

OH, HOW I LONG TO BE FREE.

Parents bought new speakers for my car.
Cool, right?
WRONG.
My father, his own self-regarded guru of all things do-it-yourself, has decided to take on the task of RIPPING APART THE INSIDE OF MY PRECIOUS VEHICLE.
I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS. GET ME OUT. OUT. NOW. PLEASE.
MUST. GET. OUT. OF. HOUSE.
TODAY.

BARENAKED IN REVIEW.

First of all, a warm and inviting 2006 to everyone, unless I hate you.
Alright.
Last night was genuinely the best concert I've ever attended. The Ladies were unbelievable, and hilarious to boot. They are genuinely better live than they are on their albums, which is a difficult feat these days. With very few exceptions, I would kidnap each and every one of them to have and to hold endlessly.
Especially Stephen. Ahh.
Some nice thoughts for you to ponder:
-The Dredel Song attached very cunningly to the end of "One Week."
-A six-verse version of "Aud Lang Syne," featuring the Hokey Pokey ("and I'll do the Hokey Po-okey, 'cause that's what it's all a-bout"), and some lovely political commentary ("I'm not a-fraid of Jesus Christ, it's Bill O'Riley that fright-ens me!"), and general madness of that sort.
-Live broadcast onto CNN, where Stephen tried to talk directly to Anderson Cooper, and Ed threw a guitar pick directly into the adam's apple of an innocent camera man, trying to capitalize on his giant guitar solo. He later confessed that he just wanted to see if CNN would air it and say, "LATE BREAKING NEWS- GUITAR SOLO!"
-A Hanukkah song entitled "Sipping on Gin and Jews." Nothing else needs to be said.
-Stephen shoved a monkey down his pants.
-White men free-styled. Frequently.
-We wrote an 80's hair-metal "PHONE ZONE" song.
-They threw underwear and Kraft Dinner onstage during appropriate times of songs, which, in my own opinion, was amazing.
-"Call and Answer" was the encore. Oh, my favorite song. Love it. It was the absolute perfect way to end the evening. Perfect.

[Editor's Note: Rachel is on the phone with her mother, who just shouted into the phone, "God, that Mariah Carey- someone needs to run over that bitch. Somebody shoot her."]

STROKE OF MIDNIGHT.

Barenaked Ladies Concert Post #4

"IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS"

Barenaked Ladies Concert Post #3