CLASSWORK.

This morning held excitement in the realm of a visiting writer who was to speak to our English class. I was hopeful, merely because she prolonged the due date of a rough draft, but also because she happened to be Canadian.
And you know how "I love me some" Canadians.
She had us work on an individual assignment- a "to do" list of sorts, with either concrete or whimsical foundations. The basic absurdity of sitting in the classroom led me to what you see below.

How To Make Sense Of Somewhat (Read: Entirely) Ridiculous Course Content:

1. Breathe. You only have three more years.
2. Breathe again. You will never have to take another English course again unless so desired.
3. These people have doctorates, right?
4. Obviously, you, too, can hold your own doctorate someday.
5. “Words, words, words,” said William Shakespeare.
6. Fucking artist.
7. Management positions typically do not require the writing of research papers, right?
8. At least Stanislavski thinks you’re cool.
9. You can always make the entire experience sound okay when you edit the facts in your blog.
10. Hemming-who?
11. Prose: huh? What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again, now.
12. You have never looked good in ink stains.
13. You have a minor in Business Administration. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. (Squared.) Bitches.