WHAT DOES KELLEY HAVE THAT YOU, POOR SPECIMEN, DO NOT?

An iPod named Bono?
Precisely.
As the Apple God intended, I first downloaded and listened to "Vertigo," slowly making my way through my library of greatness, and finally, the time had reached 1:03 AM.
It was time to sleep.
But not even in sleep did I forget about its sleek outer shell, that bright backlight, and it's glorious game of "musical trivia."
Yes, dear reader, I am content.
And so is Bono.