THIS IS WHY I GO TO A CHIROPRACTOR.

I managed to practically adjust my own back via laughter while I was told this story.
In the words of Dr. McCutcheon, "you can't make crap like that up."

BUENOS AIRES - A dog that fell from a 13th-floor balcony Friday night triggered three deaths in central Buenos Aires, police and witnesses said. The dog, a poodle named Cachi, hit 75-year-old Marta Espina on the head, and both the woman and the dog died instantly, a police officer said. Edith Sola, 46, was knocked down by a bus while standing in the middle of the street at the edge of a crowd that had gathered to watch the scene, police said. And an unidentified man who saw both incidents suffered a heart attack and died in the ambulance on his way to hospital. It was not immediately clear why the dog fell.

Thank you, oh, God, thank you St. Petersburg Times Archives.