It's been many a time recently when I've stumbled upon the knowledge that I lack the words to convey adequately how I am feeling at one point in time or another. The truth of the matter, I'm finding, is not only that I lack descriptive entities for those emotions, but the understanding of what those diversions from rationality are actually, physically composed of. I have, in earnest, no idea what I am feeling, or how to realistically and objectively react to the world around me.
This, dare I sound obvious, is frustrating.
I possess passion and drive- this I know for certain. I also am blessed with the desire to want good and positive things for those around me. I fear that I've come to a point in my existence where I must let those two things intersect, and then, finally, diverge from one another, lest I watch my resolve chip away one bit at a time, leaving my own sense of pride and confidence unrecognizable to its proverbial friends and loved ones.
I have to take myself into consideration right now.
I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I really, truly hope that I can figure it out.
I need a good cry, a weekend of sleep, and the knowledge that I will come out of this with people who are willing to reciprocate my efforts.
Realistically speaking, at least two out of those three will do.
In my experience, number three is next to impossible.
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