EXTRAS.

This is why I have faith in mankind (Read: British Television).
No other reason.
Just this.
Yep.

THE SUPER SECRET SUPRISE CASSEROLE.

"Wanda, we are witches. We have to make something that is tasty and distinctive to our heritage."

STUFF THAT IS CUTE.

Eggplant Penguins and Tomato Hippos.
Love.

FACE.

Although thoroughly nerve-wracked, I still can't fathom the cause of this week's almost immediate insanity. I've probably had more free time to myself than any other week this semester, which might point to a direction of solitude and loneliness, but not necessarily an indication for why I feel exactly the way I feel.
Something is looming. I have no desire to speculate or configure my life in such a way that would leave me open to find out what it is, but I can simply feel the enormous weight that is falling down around me. For right now, the most productive thing I can do is to keep my head to the ground and my thoughts elsewhere.
I am ready for "new" and "change" and "different."
I refuse to make a real and genuine sentence out of those words.

THIS IS NOT ENTIRELY INTERESTING.

Something about tonight is urging me to sob uncontrollably.
I don't know what it is, nor do I have any inclination toward sadness, but I can't deny how overwhelming this feeling is.
I'm still not sure if I'm going to take the time to see it through.

THE PORCH.

Ahh.
The sheer relief that comes along with being home and around family is something that I have finally found myself fortunate enough to bask in.

Yes, that was alliteration. So what?

I missed them, and I needed a little bit of time away from everything, if only to prepare me for how real and intimidating life is soon to become.

And now, I sleep.

Goodnight.

[Editor's Note: I continue to jump back and forth, editing this entry, adding more to it, subtracting insignificant details. I am a perpetual blog whore, yet I am unsure of exactly what discourse is trying to exit from my body and onto this keyboard. I am infinitely oblivious to whatever my system is seeking to emote, and therefore, will leave with as generalised a post as when I first allowed myself to click "PUBLISH."
I am a stupid, stupid brainless Kelley.]

TEA PARTY.

I love my girls.

I KNOW...

...he loves me.

LOVE AND ROOMING.

So excited. So ready. So tired of everything else.

RESOLVE.

There are moments this year when I've not known what life expects from me. I feel frantic to put together some semblance of what my life will be, should be, is supposed to be.
In one sense, my restlessness is all in vain. I need not worry about the particulars, just that my progress is evident. In what exact direction, however, I'm not exactly sure.

I started a conversation with a relative stranger last night. Perhaps it is of no significance for someone bold enough to talk their way through life, but I should have felt relatively petrified.
I did not.

This semester has taught me, if nothing else, that I will make it on my own. If every ship goes down around me, I will remain above water until my timeless metaphor weighs me down below the surface.
Even then, I think I will be fine.

Financially.
Emotionally.
Physically.
Educationally.
Mentally.
Professionally.

I will survive.

WELL...ALRIGHT.

So, my kitty went blind last night.
I'm relatively devastated.
This made me smile.
Okay.

"A COMEDIAN AT THE OSCARS."

Best part of the Academy Awards Ceremony. Ever.

I SERVE TO WIN APPLAUSE.

Pictures. Yep.

THINGS THAT I KNOW.

1. I have found love. Possibly the love of my life. But love regardless.
2. I love to type. I may complain about it, but typing allows me a vocabulary I could never truly pronounce, heathen that I am.
3. I love stage makeup. I enjoy putting it on, designing it, and finding justification for occasionally letting my girly side out.
4. I want to own my own pet. For reals.
5. There are people in my life that I trust, and people that I do not. That is the way that things will be forever, and I have come to accept that.
6. I have found love in those around me, whether they know it or not. I think they know it, though.
7. I am perpetually exhausted, and I am okay with that.

WORST VALENTINE'S DAY EVER.

That's really all I need to say.
Goodnight.

TUPPERWARE PANDAS AND LOVE.

For Michael.

This is Chauncy, and he is my best friend.

This is Gregory, and he is one laid-back motha-effa. He loves you. Really.

THE YEAR OF THREE VALENTINES.

I have every intention of acting the fool tomorrow and pretending I'm giddy and far from saddened. The truth is, of course, that I'm a giant, smelly liar.

I am aching to be with the person I love more than anything. I am perpetually drawn towards the reality that he is entirely unattainable for the next long while, and that hurts more than any greeting card and box of candy could subdue or diminish.

I have Valentines here to love and keep cheerful and jaunty around, but the one I miss the most will just have to share in the sentiment of my words.

I love you.
I guess that's all I can possibly say.

WELCOME BACK, MY GOOD FRIEND.

I single-handedly installed my new laptop hard drive (No great feat I recognize, but, still...), and I now have re-gained my computer livelihood. I'm incredibly happy to finally have the access I've missed so much, which means I may actually have the capability to do homework! And sleep! Not just one or the other!

Alright. I'm off to be moderately productive.

STAYING ALIVE...SORT OF.

It has been nearly an infinite amount of time since my last opportunity to post on this site, and the primary reasons for that, in descending order, are as follows:

1. My laptop crashed.
2. Life is insanity personified.
3. My laptop is dead.
4. I am enrolled in seventeen hours of classes, as well as part-time work.
5. Laptop = Bye Bye.

I am consistently exhausted, and most of that revolves around the inability to schedule my Computer-Needs-Time around Library-Open-Hours. It's disheartening, but I've been able to manage thus far. If I can make it through this next week, anything is possible.
I'm talking, flying ponies and junk. Anything.

On another note, it's odd to see my best friend indulge in something I've embraced for such a long time. In earnest, I never thought I would see the day when he would let his fingers clack against a keyboard for the sheer joy of typing and expression. Now, however, I'm glad to know that I can communicate in additional manners and customs than were previously allotted to the two of us.
I miss him.

On that note:

WEEKENDS ARE FOR CALAMITY. AND J-HUD.

"Calamity" might be a bit harsh- how about "overwhelming discord and mayhem?"
Nice.

1. I am intensely lucky to have by my side (hypothetically speaking) the one man I love and infinitely care about in the midst of everything that life entails.
2. I am grateful for my peers and confidantes, for they never seem to let me down when I am left in foul moods or with an air of sadness about me.
3. And, best of all, I am endlessly blessed to live in a time when YouTube has, ready at my fingertips, Jennifer Hudson being a bad-ass diva on television that I don't get up early enough to watch.

I love her, I do.