"So, one day, Jose' Cuervo and Captain Morgan got into a fight. Captain Morgan's daughter was dating Cuervo's daughter's nephew. It got messy. They got into it, and attacked one another for days.George Washington was shooting cannons from the fort, which proved pretty useless (as we all know).
And then, Superman flew over and saved all the Jews. But not before Woodrow Wilson's great-grandfather picked out the room where his great-grandson would choose his cabinet someday.
Walt Disney jumped into the mess, and was quickly jumped on. He was then frozen. Cuervo came out victorious in the end, but decided that the whimpy Henry Flagler could buy it in exchange for a Starbucks."
The end.
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