OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE THE HURTING STOP...OH, WAIT, GOD'S LAUGHING AT ME...NEVERMIND.

So, this obnoxiously creepy girl comes over to my house tonight, rides around the block with the Rat Boy, comes inside, and sits down next to me...
She then proceeds to call me a "couch potato", to make sure that my name was spelled K-E-L-L-E-Y instead of K-E-L-L-I-E, and then ponders over my slicked back hair, commenting on how she never sees me wear it that way.
Do I know who she is in the course of this trying ordeal?
"Of course not. That would make too much sense for Kelley's life. Let's send creepy stalker children to haunt her and pick up her hamster and nearly kill him and then look over her shoulder while she's reading email from Michael Tait and then see how she reacts to the girl asking for her AIM address and telling her that she needs to come visit at her house sometime..."
That, as if I needed to explain it to you, was the voice of God, laughing oh so effortlessly at how twisted my existance is, why I missed my bus while I tried desperately to scrape off mime makeup, and helping me to understand that walking around today with the seat of my pants ripped in half was truly a nice method of learning...
Oh, well...I'm not really that concerned with it all..."It all" of course acting as an implication of my maladjusted existance, and the fact that my family appears to be temporarially enthralled with the magic of Jackie Chan films...
Goodie!