TOO MUCH SCOTT? YOU DECIDE...

How I Almost Conquered the World
---------------------------------

I came up with a brilliant plan that would have allowed me to win the
governorship of California and eventually go on to rule the whole world. My plan
was that I would announce my candidacy and say that if elected I would let the
current governor, Gray Davis, run the state. I would even give him my governor's
pay.

Granted, he's hugely unpopular, but the winner of the next election will
probably only get 25% of the vote. If you add together the people who want to
keep the current governor, and the people who oppose the recall on principal,
it's at least 25%.

By now you are probably tingling from the brilliance of this concept. But
there's more. I could use the same strategy to run for president after Bush's
second term expires. I'd promise that if I won, Bush would be my chief of staff
and I'd do whatever he told me to do. Voters would think, "That cartoonist guy
did what he said in California, and we'd like a third term of Bush, so why not?"
Then after I won, I'd break all my promises and move into the White House.
People would whine, but I'd smooth it over with a joke, like "Hey, news flash,
people: politicians lie! Ha ha!" Then I'd order the army to attack France,
mostly to boost my popularity, but secondly to get more cheese for the DNRC.

I think the plan would have worked. But in the end I decided that ruling the
world was too much trouble. So I took a nap instead.